


Just Another Bullying Day

by johnsidney



Category: The Thick Of It
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 03:19:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1413097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnsidney/pseuds/johnsidney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nichola just can't figure out, if Jamie really doesn't satisfied with their leaders, why don't Malcolm just swept him out? Jamie, on the other hand, with what justification for not leaving the government?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Another Bullying Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I translate my fanfic into English version. It's quite hard and needs lots of time, but I think I'll just give it a try. I'll translate others later. It's much easier to translate English texts into my native language, while conversely is quite hard to me. Do let me know if any paragraphs which you couldn't understand. And If anyone love the story, please let me know. 
> 
> **Timeline notes: After Specials.

" Fuck! Fuck! "

Not until she walked in the department had Nichola already heard Malcolm's heinous curses.

"What happened?" She sighed in despair.

"I don't know, Ollie's looking for the folders which they asked him to." Terri shrugged with a nail clippers in hand, legs dangling under the table. Nichola looked at her for a moment, couldn't stop but thinking of a boring fat bird. No one can disturb it to trim it's ruffled feather.

"Is it data base again? That Fucking data base, am I right, Terri? I explicitly told you before, must slim down the data of the stationery expenditure!"

"You told us to reduce the data, than we just reduce it." Terri said these words without even looking at her minister.

"But you didn't reduce any expenditure!" Nichola shouts.

"This is, well, of course." Terri glances over her Minister, open her month as if she found it hard to point out: "Your shoes, Minister."

Nichola glared down her shoes, then glared at Terri, then helplessly cried: "I knew it, I knew I should not wear these shoes!"

Terri curled her lips, puts on another calmly face and told Nichola that today's Malcolm has absolutely no such good mood to make things difficult for politician's taste in dresses.

"THEY said if they found any loophole, THEY would fill it with your buttock." Glenn totters his glasses, flustered.

"Oh, God." Nicola panics, just like a mole dug the wrong hole and burst out whining. Lasts over a minute and a half, she finally noticed that: "THEY?"

Ollie, apparently had been slightly bullied by the press officer, indulge himself between the keyboard and the monitor, trying to ignore the questioning from Nichola. She doesn't care, just keeps asking: "THEY?" 

"Well..." He seemed frustrated, but did not forget to act extremely awkward bumbling. This young political adviser has always think himself as a glamorous－－in Glenn's word－－Don Juan or something, while people just consider him as a little prick who hold a candle for the devil.

"They?"

"Oh, Malcolm's here, with Jamie on leash."

Jamie. The "short devil" which we often hear in the mouths of all sectors. Malcolm's right-hand man of course. A series of provocative nick name influxes into Nichola's brain, her stomach acid was hardly repressed.

She didn't know there are not only one Scottish wolf in Downing Street until recently. Like one looks after the house while the other goes out to hunt, she knew these wolves have their own way to rule this country. Therefore, She thought she just need to face one of them (which is Malcolm of course) before she has nothing but to retire (or resign). At this very moment, these two finally step into DoSac together. She felt the office just starts burning a fire of Hell.

"Are you sure about this, Ollie? " Minister muttered.

" Malcolm hasn't been that crazy to come to this building just for talking to himself, right ? "

Ollie nods at the swaying two figures behind the matte glass. Staring at her colleagues, listening to the conversation between Malcolm and that stranger, Nicola just froze. It is, indeed Extremely strong Scottish accent. So what? She knew she couldn't join them by singing "sexy northerners". 

" What the fuck is the matter with you, Malc?"

"Fuck!"

"Alright, alright..."

She wanted to maintain a modern lady who has her basic manners as much as possible and, more importantly, showing the leadership which a minister should obtain. But in fact she's afraid she doesn't have the time to think. Through that short dialogues, She assumes Malcolm should be the one in a rage, while Jamie sounded like the gentle one who is trying to appeasing the other. She felt this might be a good sign . She would rather be comfortable with Malcolm's anger than facing a new Scottish guy with loads of new whirlwind swearing towards her. Politician's dignity, well, always remains the unjustified insistence of their own.

"bless me." Nicola steps into the office. Political advisers are just too busy to have any time overlapping fingers for a few seconds for the Minister.

Malcolm was standing behind her desk, tossed his right hand. Obviously there is some red swelling. She had wanted to knock the door. Not until she saw the man's relatively narrow shoulder, Jamie had turned his head around.

That was an unexpected childish face, a pair of thick eyebrows with a pair of big blue eyes, as well as with the Byronic curls. Jamie, in a word, exudes some kind of indescribable destructive expression. As for those stereotype of Scottish which a politician would have thought, it is indeed a standard face of a Scots fellow. In addition, she couldn't find any limited ballot...um, any description to describe Jamie's anger.

"You must be Jamie ..." Nichola hesitates to hold out her hand. If it was Malcolm , she could imagine her hand were ignored or wiped off ruthless, but now it is Jamie in front of her, looks more like her right arm would be straightly bite off.

"You! " Jamie walked over, abruptly interrupted her.

Nicola tried not to see her desk, there are strewn with few satsumas, probably sent by Terri, also a new crack. Apparently Malcolm punched it with his bare hand. Her mind flashed these investigations, but it's no use of her may-be-very-short-lived political career.

"Just when you told those fucking journalists about unemployment benefit, our Prime Minister has just agreed to cut away the deadwood in the Civil Service of several departments!" Malcolm roared.

"Don't you say you don't know about this! Woman!" Jamie added.

"I don't know!" 

shit. 

"Well, I mean, I didn't know, but now I know."

"Well if you didn't know, just shut your mouth up, ok?" Said Malcolm. "And don't even mutter anything after you know about that!"

Malcolm seems to have sent out a temper, but Nichola can't be assured. Jamie is ready to take over the Baton which Malcolm dropped for him.

"But I think , uh ...... I think I can say these things , just like the promises before election you know, the necessary packaging, isn't it?" Nichola argues.

"Oh, yeah! Undoing the Prime Minister's work behind his back, and then packaging yourself as a fucking Christmas tree, ye think the whole party will be happy through this? Wut do you think who you are! Fucking page three girl?"

Jamie growled as soon as Malcolm finished. It seemed those satsumas on the desk slightly jumped a bit from the desktop, and Nicola's shoulders shake more than once.

"And how dare, how dare you! To think you can talk these nonsense to the media with that kind of wanker's way? Ye think those journalists would really eat your phony dramatics?" Jamie gazes, just like accusing she did not give the toilet a flush or something.

"I didn't say I think..." Malcolm squinted when she tried to make some excuses.

"You did say that, fuck you! Obviously you just said I-I-I think, uh, I-I think I-I can...you fucking politicians just like some kind of stammer pig!" Jamie gnashed his teeth. Nichola can feel that this Scottish wee man really gained Malcolm's true mass.

This is the first time that Nichola being bullied by the other Scottish Wolf, to be honest, she was surprised outnumber the fear. Well, fear still accounted for most of them. The thing is, the day Ollie told her about Jamie, it was not the scene she was bullied came to her mind at first, but was the mutually exclusive might be seen between these two Scots.

Perhaps it is because Malcolm always revolves around the Prime Minister, while most of members of this party knows very well, that Jamie obviously hates their current leader very much. But all this is an old story now. Nicola just can't figure out, if Jamie really doesn't satisfied with their leaders, why doesn't Malcolm just swept him out? Jamie, on the other hand, with what justification for not leaving the government?

"DoSAC has been the most dispensable department! Fucking hell! And you still think you are important?" Jamie hissed.

If Scottish wolves can raise a Malcolm before their extinction, it was no doubt, that Malcolm can naturally raise a Jamie in his own way.

"I wouldn't say ..." she tried again.

"A, political graveyard. B, homeless shelters!" Malcolm changed his tune:" Oh, wait. It's not up to you, darling, there's no choice. DoSAC has been the political graveyard since the very ancient time!"

" If you don't hold Treasury's balls, how do you suppose to talk about the unemployment benefit? Tell me, Have you ever hold Treasury's testicles? Have you? And CAN you? he's got orchitis bet you don't know!" Jamie's palm looks like measuring something over 40 pounds. He had accidentally slender fingers. Nicola shuddered.

"Can't we cut away first, than push the welfare payments?" Maybe Nichola is trying to spend her whole life being silly.

"Damn good idea! Why don't you let the Prime Minister give you and your department a enema and shit a bunch of..." Jamie waving his hands and began to use his fairly rich imagination," ...of shit! And than you can decide how much allowance can you fucking grant? "

"Listen, " Nicola keeps still, "If you're not happy with this assertion..."

"Oh, is this sort of assertion?" Jamie swaying in front of her, " Shall I cram your head into the toilet seat, and then summon a pig stuffed your asshole with plunger, and then you might be able to sound well than a cracked bell?"

Nichola had no hope but to look at Malcolm.

She did not dare to say that she's ask Malcolm for help, but after all it was the face she get more used to. While Malcolm did not look at her. The press officer gazed at those satsumas rolling on the table. Like a short recess during a hard work. Nichola noticed that maybe it is the way they always do, take turns. These appeared to be a convention between them.

"I, I don't...I guess I do not need a pig." Like she had to tell them.

Jamie just smirked, a horrible derision, quite hideous.

"She says she doesn't need one." He throws so behind the shoulder to Malcolm.

"I don't believe it, you'd better try to discover what is best to do, my dear." Malcolm picked up some satsumas, slowly peel up.

"Now what's the next move?" Nichola gave up.

"Think! Use your Dora brain! First you should ask your Diego to get rid of that bloody union stock right now! Or Is his dildo just tied up with his secret purse?" Jamie's forefinger almost poked into her forehead.

Ollie came in, holding a stack of documents report. Nicholas thought he looked weird. There's no one really beat him, why does he acted like being beaten to a frazzle? He cautiously give a wide berth to Jamie, walked straight toward the desk, place the report in front of Malcolm, with a sullen look, just wait there.

Nichola remembers a little bird used to told her, that when her predecessor still in the office, Ollie once went to PM's press office for an important task. Based on this experience, Ollie would often described press office as some kind of human Purgatory.

"Malcolm rushed into our building every day, does he really have spare time to manage the press office properly?" Ollie always said,"so Malcolm built him in a lab, from bits of old psychopaths copy." 

But Terry analyzed for Nichola once, that if Ollie is not afraid of Jamie at all, he wouldn't keep talking about it. Unlike politicians or advisers, as a civilian, there is no fear when one has something to fall Back upon.

So Nichola knows that Ollie's afraid of Jamie. Not only because Ollie always describes Jamie as Malcolm's reared energetic dog, but also she notices he is not only kidding. Furthermore, Ollie went to number 10, merely for chatting with his opposition girlfriend, worst PR guy ever. 

"Who is Diego?" Malcolm was still peeling satsuma. He stripped it slowly, with frowned.

"Dora 's boyfriend! You shouldn't forget." Jamie makes Nicola doubt they will watch children's programs together.

Malcolm did not answer, just keep peeling the satsuma for a moment, than he raised his head and look at Ollie.

"Why are you standing there ?"

"This is the report you ask me to do." Said Ollie.

"So, how's the situation?"

"Well, they are all written on these..."

Malcolm puts satsuma down (did not peel off any layer of skin). He seems no longer tolerate such behavior. Jamie swept back, Nichola had no time to enjoy the very short peace, than she saw Ollie's ear was severely pulled up by Jamie.

"If you don't fucking intend to do the verbal report, why standing here like a dead log?" Jamie is rolling up Ollie's ear.

"I'll do it, I'll do it! Stop, Jamie! Stop!" Ollie tried to grabbed the report and started to read a bunch of data reporting.

"Jamie, stop!" Nichola could not bear with this terrible scene.

Jamie loosen Ollie's ear, let Malcolm listen to the report, and turn back to stared at Nichola. His nose almost touched Nichola's, she felt the idea to be torn in half completely eliminate the possibility of accidental kiss. 

"Fucking brainless politicians never shall stop me," Jamie word for word," no one can stop me, No F-U-C-King one!"

Nicolas felt there might be broken eardrum crisis, so she quickly nodded. Ollie has ended the report, and Malcolm just seemed invariably appreciate this curtain scene. 

"Have I made myself clear?" Jamie pressed.

"It is very clear ..." Nicola pretending to be calm , gulped.

When there is Jamie with him, Malcolm knew when to stop. He put two satsumas into his suit pocket and asked Ollie may fuck off. 

"Come, Jamie. you're going to scared the shit out of mommy." Malcolm said with melancholy.

"What does the report say?" Jamie asked.

"Fine, so far.'' Malcolm pointed at Nichola, "But you and your department should sent the statement to me before this afternoon, or I'll rip your head off and burned it in front of Trafalgar Square."

Obviously, the situation is quite optimistic. Nichola can understand Malcolm's numerous mode. Such ending might be a perfect ending. She has to start pushing remedial measures and ask Terri to change a new table for her. She had to go to the toilet at first. Malcolm did said he never hit woman, but the fundamental physical violence Jamie might not have this principle.

***

"What the bloody hell are you doing just now?"

"Oh, don't tell me you haven't smashed a table like that."

Malcolm returned to his office at No.10, Jamie trailing behind. The former sat down, pulled out the satsumas from his pocket. While the latter just rushed quickly to pulled a drawer, dug out a Band-Aid from the inside.

"Let me see." Jamie sullen.

"fuck off." Malcolm still peeling satsuma, but his right hand seemed benumbed.

Jamie intended to grab the satsuma. Malcolm stood up and raised his hands. Jamie slightly upward jump, take away the satsuma. Fuck you. Malcolm muttered to sit down again.

"Give me your hand." Jamie kneeled, took Malcolm's hand on his knees to look closely. His thick eyebrows wrinkled together, seemed ridiculous funny.

"I was sprained, ye twat." Malcolm muttered, in the same time his hand was carefully checked. He grabbed the band-aid, plugged it back to the half-open drawer.

"I know, don't fucking called me twat, ye old wrack." Jamie stared up at Malcolm, and suddenly kissed the back of press officer's hand.

"Hey!" Malcolm threw Jamie's hand away, and pushed his face. Jamie smiled proudly, regardless of Malcolm's long face, leaned over Malcolm's laps and kissed him on the mouth. Malcolm seemed not appreciate it, but still, kiss back with few little bites.

"Fuck you and can you do something useful?" He holds Jamie off, and plugs a satsuma into Jamie's palm.

"Fuck you , Malc." Said Jamie, than sat on the edge of the table, began to peel the satsuma.

Malcolm checked the report again, and then leaned back in his chair. It was a very good chair indeed. He looked up at Jamie who is concentrating on satsuma peeling, and shook his left hand. The satsuma peeler saw it of course, but continue to tearing the white stem silk.

"You just punched that table with both hands?" Jamie deliberately asked.

"Damn, there's not a day that they can do things well without any trouble!" Malcolm curled his lip.

"That's why I prefer to kick, the next time you can throw something, just stop abusing your hands, right?" Jamie licked the juice which stained on his fingers.

"Hey, I do what I like, mind your own business."

"Of course you are out of my reach if you're going to trample the Secretary of State for Culture's balls, mouth open."

Malcolm opened his mouth to accept Jamie's satsuma feeding. Minister's balls are clearly insufficient to discredit appetite. He swallowed the satsuma and once again opened his mouth before Jamie gave him another one.

"Fuck, let's leave your spike shoes to others, eh?"

"Yeah, it's not a cultural program after all."

**Author's Note:**

> Background notes: In my TTOI fanfics, I assumed Jamie stayed the whole third series, and began to fall away from Malcolm after the government ruled by J.B's party. But, in the very end of fourth series, the relationship between he and Malcolm will renewal once again. These settings are not all contained in one story, but all of my TTOI fanfics are in these settings and have their developing storyline. So these fics have double timelines (one based on the original show, another based on the Jamie's position which I assumed).


End file.
